Dare to be bold.

"Our arts, our occupations, our marriages, our religion, we have not chosen, but society has chosen for us. We are parlour soldiers. We shun the rugged battle of fate, where strength is born." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Next to Resistance, rational thought is the artist or entrepreneur's worst enemy. Bad things happen when we employ rational thought, because rational thought comes from the ego. Instead, we want to work from the Self, that is, from instinct and intuition, from the unconscious. A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. It's only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate." - Steven Pressfield, Do the Work

The idea of "being realistic" holds all of us back. From starting a business or quitting a job to dating someone who may not be our type or moving to a new place - getting "real" often means putting your dreams on hold. Today, let's take a step away from rational thought and dare to be bold. What's one thing you've always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue? - Matt Cheuvront

This writing prompt comes from a 30-day online challenge called "Self-Reliance" based on the work of Ralph Waldo Emerson. I've been receiving daily emails. The idea is to do a prompt a day, but I've just been saving the ones I like.

This particular prompt, created by Matt Cheuvront, speaks to me a lot. I've realized that I value ADVENTURE. The voice within me that is always questioning, always looking for more, always wanting to BE more - that is the voice of adventure. Adventure is why I studied abroad and travelled so much when I was there. Adventure is why I moved to New York City. Adventure is why I'm going to Malaysia next year.

Adventure is also why I try not to map out my life anymore. Through college, I liked to think of my life in terms of years. As in: I'll gradate from LMU, work a couple years, go to grad school for my master's, get my doctorate by the time I'm 30, start a family in my early 30s. Looking at that tidy little train of a life, I can't help but think - what kind of life is that? How could I possibly limit myself to that? (Also, please note that I am fully aware that I write this from a privileged point of view. I am blessed with amazing parents who have my back personally and financially. This is, nonetheless, my own truth.)

I don't mean to say that that kind of life isn't desirable. It is. I would love to go to grad school and have a family some day. But how could I have thought that those things could be planned 10-15 years into the future? Life is so much bigger than degrees and societal milestones.

Something that amazes me almost everyday here in NYC is how much this year has opened me up to my real true Self. My NYC year has changed how I move through the world. Questioning my sexuality and coming out has changed the way I relate to people. My brother disappearing has changed my family. Being a GSV has changed my language, spirituality, career goals, passion for social justice, friendships. This year has just been an overhaul for me.

I have realized that who I have been previously doesn't limit who I am today and tomorrow. This year has opened me up to my DREAMS.

I think this writing prompt does a good job of explaining why it is I DOUBT myself. I've worked on my big brain more than my little heart. I've limited myself to wanting and pursuing that which those around me have wanted and pursued. A lot of those things are phenomenal. Like going to LMU to get my bachelor's degree. But I know the world is so much bigger than I can see and hear. I've learned to expand what I know and dream, to what I think and feel. And I've definitely opened my heart this year. One of my favorite quotes, now the little epitaph for this blog, is "When my heart breaks open, the whole world can fall in."

Here are some of my current dreams:
- Going to Indo to surf while I'm in Malaysia.
- Traveling to Thailand while I'm in Malaysia.
- Writing a book. I really am passionate about writing and I would love to write a piece of creative nonfiction.
- Spending a season living in a ski town so I can snowboard all the time.
- Spending a season living in the south of France picking grapes. One of my study abroad friends, Sam, had the opportunity to do this and the idea has haunted me ever since. As someone who has never done manual labor for a job, I know I'm being idealistic about this France thing. But there it is.
- Living in the Pacific Northwest at some point. And/or NorCal. And/or Colorado.

Who knows if any of these things will happen. But they're real! And I'm challenging myself now to always follow my instinct and intuition. To live with a BIG HEART (and a little brain too).